(This post has not been edited for errors. These are my raw thoughts. I apologize in advance if the word “boobies” offends you. If it does, lighten up.)
UPDATE :: This is the first blog post in FOUR YEARS that I’ve enabled comments on. Hoping to have a lively discussion.
If you noticed in the title, “Instagram Boobies” was sandwiched right between “Me” and “Happy Wife”.
That was on purpose.
Last week, I handed my wife my iPhone to show her a hilarious picture of Kevin Hart on Instagram. After she saw it, she decided to simply scroll through my entire Instagram feed. No big deal. We have an open book policy where we always have access to everything the other does, so I didn’t think twice about it.
But, low and behold, with just a little bit of scrolling, there they were… Instagram Boobies. More than just boobies to be all the way real. Before I knew it, my happy wife was no longer happy and I had some explaining to do. Nobody wants to see T&A on their husband’s phone.
WARNING :: I am about to REALLY put myself out there. Feel free to judge away!
Online boobies are like kryptonite to me. I’ve never had an affair. I don’t look at offline boobies. I don’t have a porn problem, but when I see boobies online I have a hard time not looking. It’s my weakness. I don’t google search them, but if they pop up somewhere in my social media feeds, I take a look. I’m not saying it’s ok. I am way better than I used to be but they get me everytime.
2 years ago I got in pretty big trouble with my wife for this and I pretty much just stopped using Facebook because of it. Long story short: women that I was “Facebook Friends” with had booby pictures up and I checked them out. Not cool.
I stopped the behavior. I knew better. I wasn’t going to let any Facebook boobies get between me and a happy wife.
So – let’s get back to Instagram boobies. This is where it gets tricky.
- In part because of my Facebook booby problem, I mainly follow men on Instagram, but I always feel like this is a bit weird. Know what I mean? Plus – dudes post Instagram boobies too.
- How do I choose if it is ok for a woman to follow or not? Do I search her pics first for booby shots to see if the coast is clear? That would also be weird and kind of self-defeating.
- So, I follow my wife, other women in my family, my daughters, some old female classmates from Spelman or from high school, some women from the church I used to pastor, and some women that have been supporters of mine online.
- I intentionally don’t follow (or have any honest interest in following) porn stars or booty models or women that are known for showing off. I just follow family and women that I know somehow.
Then, women that I know, think of myself as being friends with, start posting booby shots and provocative poses. 99% of what these women post has nothing to do with boobies. Let me just show you what you I’m talking about and then ask some questions. We’ll discuss it all in the comments section here. Maybe I can even get the women who posted the photos to join in…
Here are the 3 pictures that got me in trouble. They are public and all 3 of them were shared publicly. I respect all 3 of these women , got permission to post these photos from each of them, and think of them as my friends on some level or another. After I show you the pictures I want to ask some questions…
1. This was from a classmate of mine from Spelman when I attended Morehouse. So witty. We wrote together for the Maroon Tiger. Just a random shot for St. Patricks Day I guess.
2. This lady has been a huge supporter/defender of mine online. A great person. I honestly don’t know the backstory of this shot.
3. This young lady used to attend my church. I know her parents. She was in high school when she attended our church. Now she’s in college. Born leader.
It is true. I follow these women. I respect them. They posted these shots. I saw them. Blah Blah Blah. I didn’t follow them for these types of shots and didn’t expect them when I followed them. I didn’t unfollow them when I saw these shots either. That’s how my wife saw them in my feed.
Here are the questions I have for you all…
(These questions are not that well thought out. I don’t think anybody ever called me sexist. I’m a pretty progressive dude, but forgive me if my questions are the wrong questions. I’m just trying to have an honest discussion.)
1. Is it OK for women to post these types of photos?
2. Is it inconsiderate for women to post these types of photos if they know married men are following them?
3. Should a married man follow women on social networks at all?
4. Should a married man unfollow a woman on Instagram (or elsewhere) after he sees they post these types of photos?
I have thoughts of my own on all of those questions. They aren’t as easy to answer as they seem. All I know is that real boobies trump Instagram boobies any day and I can’t jam up what I got going on offline for something goofy online. HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE
What do you think?