Comments on: Let the Baby Cry http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html The Blog of Shaun King Thu, 12 May 2011 15:57:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sharon http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-19400 Sharon Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:18:49 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-19400 <a href="http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/night.php" target="_blank">http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/nig...</a> here is an article about self-soothing and attachment parenting. http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/nig… here is an article about self-soothing and attachment parenting.

]]> By: Heather G http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-19399 Heather G Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:16:38 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-19399 Shaun, Your doctor is expressing opinion, not medical fact. Your doctor is wanting your child to be brought up in the old school stoic style.... There are various schools of thought on that - the "attachment parenting" model which has been growing in acceptance and popularity would say that your parental instincts are right and the doctor is wrong - that self soothing actually is not a positive behavior and at that age, your children need the security of knowing you are always there for them. Google search "attachment parenting" and then make your own decision. Shaun,
Your doctor is expressing opinion, not medical fact. Your doctor is wanting your child to be brought up in the old school stoic style…. There are various schools of thought on that – the "attachment parenting" model which has been growing in acceptance and popularity would say that your parental instincts are right and the doctor is wrong – that self soothing actually is not a positive behavior and at that age, your children need the security of knowing you are always there for them. Google search "attachment parenting" and then make your own decision.

]]> By: jeff http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-19060 jeff Mon, 11 Jan 2010 04:25:53 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-19060 I think that you are making an unfair comparison between infants, and adults in our churches. I think the metaphor breaks down. Personally, I would wonder about a pediatrician who tells you that a baby "will never learn how to sooth themselves." How can a pediatrician be able to make such an absolute claim? A baby's cry is the only way that they know how to communicate. When you ignore it, you show them that you are not interested in meeting their needs. Obviously, you are interested in meeting their needs, but how can a baby understand that? My wife and I practice attachment parenting with our children, ages 4 and 2, and they are very independent because of the bond that they have secured with us through meeting their needs. What if these "needy" adults in our churches all stem from parents letting them "cry it out?" No way of knowing for sure, but that is worth thinking through. Because, met needs go away, and unmet needs resurface in other capacities of our life. Think about our identities in Christ, when He meets our need, we can live a full life as God has intended, but those who do not have their identity found in Christ, they look for it in all sorts of varieties. No matter what parenting decision you make, you are the best parent for your baby. Trust the instincts God has given you. I think that you are making an unfair comparison between infants, and adults in our churches. I think the metaphor breaks down.

Personally, I would wonder about a pediatrician who tells you that a baby "will never learn how to sooth themselves." How can a pediatrician be able to make such an absolute claim?

A baby's cry is the only way that they know how to communicate. When you ignore it, you show them that you are not interested in meeting their needs. Obviously, you are interested in meeting their needs, but how can a baby understand that?

My wife and I practice attachment parenting with our children, ages 4 and 2, and they are very independent because of the bond that they have secured with us through meeting their needs.
What if these "needy" adults in our churches all stem from parents letting them "cry it out?"
No way of knowing for sure, but that is worth thinking through.
Because, met needs go away, and unmet needs resurface in other capacities of our life. Think about our identities in Christ, when He meets our need, we can live a full life as God has intended, but those who do not have their identity found in Christ, they look for it in all sorts of varieties.

No matter what parenting decision you make, you are the best parent for your baby. Trust the instincts God has given you.

]]> By: Bettina http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18936 Bettina Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:26:38 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18936 Since meeting you through the Shorty Awards, I am enjoying checking out your blog. I think what you do is wonderful. I like the spiritual analogy but wanted to offer another opinion on Cry It Out for infants. I followed the ferber method for my son and I deeply regret it. He did not learn to soothe himself, I think it damaged his trust in us. I am not an expert on this subject but encourage you to check out <a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com" target="_blank">www.phdinparenting.com</a> (she nominated me for the Shorty) and read some of her posts on the subject. There is also an excellent book called No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, or try Dr. Harvey Karp's books. Your doctor may be wonderful but may have not kept up with the latest research on this subject. Good luck with it, I know how hard it is! Hope to see you at the awards! Since meeting you through the Shorty Awards, I am enjoying checking out your blog. I think what you do is wonderful.

I like the spiritual analogy but wanted to offer another opinion on Cry It Out for infants. I followed the ferber method for my son and I deeply regret it. He did not learn to soothe himself, I think it damaged his trust in us. I am not an expert on this subject but encourage you to check out http://www.phdinparenting.com (she nominated me for the Shorty) and read some of her posts on the subject. There is also an excellent book called No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, or try Dr. Harvey Karp's books. Your doctor may be wonderful but may have not kept up with the latest research on this subject. Good luck with it, I know how hard it is! Hope to see you at the awards!

]]> By: shaunking http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18922 shaunking Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:05:32 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18922 I hear you Tom! I really do. Some soothing will ALWAYS be required. I hear you Tom! I really do. Some soothing will ALWAYS be required.

]]> By: shaunking http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18920 shaunking Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:04:50 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18920 Absolutely Tracey! Absolutely Tracey!

]]> By: shaunking http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18919 shaunking Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:04:37 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18919 Indeed LaVonne! Be merciful in the process - some crying is allowed. Indeed LaVonne! Be merciful in the process – some crying is allowed.

]]> By: shaunking http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18921 shaunking Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:04:06 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18921 Absolutely Adam! Same thing man. Don't get me wrong - sometimes we need to help people along, but we also have to have them on a path to maturity! Absolutely Adam! Same thing man. Don't get me wrong – sometimes we need to help people along, but we also have to have them on a path to maturity!

]]> By: tomcottar http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18914 tomcottar Fri, 08 Jan 2010 12:18:21 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18914 good comments. we have a new (literal) baby who's a few months old..she's going thru the same thing. AND, we have some changes in our ministry that are causing some crying from parents/students...my struggle is to know when to soothe and when to let them cry. I feel like all I do is change diapers these days...at church AND at home. good comments. we have a new (literal) baby who's a few months old..she's going thru the same thing.

AND, we have some changes in our ministry that are causing some crying from parents/students…my struggle is to know when to soothe and when to let them cry.

I feel like all I do is change diapers these days…at church AND at home.

]]> By: Tracey Axnick http://www.shauninthecity.com/2010/01/let-the-baby-cry.html/comment-page-1#comment-18896 Tracey Axnick Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:59:15 +0000 http://www.shauninthecity.com/?p=1461#comment-18896 Great analogy. The flesh constantly whines to be paid attention to, doesn't it? Sometimes you just gotta ignore it, and "let it cry".... esp when it's something that DOESN'T need to be picked up and coddled.... (But from a literal, parental perspective, yes it's very tough to hear your baby cry....) Peace. Great analogy. The flesh constantly whines to be paid attention to, doesn't it? Sometimes you just gotta ignore it, and "let it cry"…. esp when it's something that DOESN'T need to be picked up and coddled….

(But from a literal, parental perspective, yes it's very tough to hear your baby cry….)

Peace.

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