I hope you see that the question in the title of this post is rhetorical. If you ever happen to offend a billion people…or ONE person on accident – I have 3 simple tips for you.
1. Accept that you did indeed offend them (if you meant to offend them or not should be temporarily irrelevant).
2. Say you are sorry from the heart and don’t say something like “I’m sorry IF I offended…” but say “I’m sorry THAT I offended…”
3. Change the offensive behavior. If you don’t, #1 & #2 mean nothing.
Why am I saying this? My good friend and fellow Covenant pastor Eugene Cho made it painfully obvious today on his blog that my (internet) friends Mike Foster & Jud Wilhite, with the marketing and promotions of their Deadly Vipers concept, are being highly insensitive and very offensive to Asian people. You have to read it for yourself.
I say this @ Courageous all of the time, but I love people that tell me I have a booger hanging out of my nose. There is nothing worse than walking around and talking to folk with a floaty booger thingy hanging out of your nose and people that love you will tell you about it. Very few people will do that, but when they do it tells me a lot about their character.
Eugene did Mike & Jud a favor. Their PR campaign is basically a public booger that deserves a public response and will hopefully create some widespread sensitivity to some real cultural issues that folk are pretty much ignorant about.
Before you get defensive, read my 3 tips above. I have learned them the hard way.
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This is great! (especially being that I'm half Asian I can relate). But to be honest, I did not see all the marketing ploys even though a friend of mine sent me the website to deadly vipers this morning. Didn't even think about it being offensive yet.
I hope it all gets resolved well. This encourages me about needing to shout sometimes in addition to accepting the fact I could be offending someone even if it wasn't my intention. (and i still need to apologize for it)
Shaun, good perspective.
I think your three steps are wise and are something that I am trying to follow.
Yesterday was a crazy crazy day for commenting on blogs.
There are several other post that seemed to be hijacked by comments and negative comments:
I talked more about it here:
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com/what-a-crazy-day-...
But good stuff man, thanks for your honesty on this as well.
Thanks Christina,
Did you read Eugene's post?
Thanks Kyle! I had no idea yesterday was so messy in the blog world. I honestly think these things are healthy. When we can talk about simmering issues and get things out …it CAN be a good thing.
Hope you are doing well bro.
Shaun
Ya it seemed like a pretty intense day for all. I talked to a friend who works at a church and he told me that it was very hostile in the office as well. And later that afternoon they had a huge blow up in a meeting, pretty crazy stuff.
I would agree that this is good stuff to talk about, but I feel like the way that it is going down is not always good. The way the post was hijacked, the way that the emails were shared that should have been kept private, and then the way that people can hide behind anonymous comments and not have to own up to their thoughts and views is wrong.
But thanks for the response, loved watching the two videos yesterday of your setup and then your volunteers talking. I wish I lived in ATL, I would volunteer at your church in a heart beat.
Your welcome! Yea, I went to go read his post and could totally understand. I'm glad he said something. I sent this info to my friend who is currently in a men's group who are going over this in Pittsburgh.
He forwarded it to his group leader. My friend said, " I was surprised at myself– it didn't even cross my mind that it would be offensive."
Your welcome! Yea, I went to go read his post and could totally understand. I'm glad he said something. I sent this info to my friend who is currently in a men's group who are going over this in Pittsburgh.
He said, "I was surprised at myself– it ddn't even cross my mind that it would be offensive."
And has forwarded this info to his group leader.
hey shaun! great, simple thoughts. the problem is that many are not doing the hard work of working towards bridging the gap in these types of issues. i wrote about this here:
http://dksounds.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/on-behal...
Prof Rah has been bringing "the light" to Mike & Jud regarding this issue for 2 days. I appreciate your humble approach. I know for unaware white folk like myself we've been known to accidentally step on toes, so this is a big learning opportunity for all of us, and I hope Zondervan screens this process a bit tighter in the future.