Comments on: My Husband is Looking @ Porn.

By: Gennieve

Gennieve — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 02:05:57 +0000

Really bad advice! It is obvious that porn is against her morals. To advise her to get involved with this will only create further problems. Don't feed into husbands sickness.

By: dee

dee — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 20:31:24 +0000

I have been married for almost 8 years we have two little girls together. My husband knew how I felt about porn before we got married and he told me he didn’t like it ether nor need it. Ha was that a lie! I don’t know what to do anymore I have cried about it I have gotten mad about it I tried to watch it with him and I just felt dirty and it broke my heart knowing that my husband watches these nasty woman. I’ve prayed about it and prayed about it and prayed. I’m feeling really drained and like I am losing my husband to it. I have never denied him sex or used it to punish him. Whenever he wants it I’m here for him. Lately he hasn’t even wanted it. I found a charge on one of our credit card statements from a porn website. I do not know where he looks at it because we do not have a computer at home. We used to and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m so scared that my little girls will accidentally see something. I just don’t understand how a man can bring such horrible things into his home where his children and wife that he says he loves are. I have asked him why he does it and he told me he doesn’t know he just craves it that I shouldn’t worry about at least he is not cheating on me. But why does it feel like it? He would rather look at it and please himself than be intamate with me. I need some support or advice. I don’t want to give up on him but I feel like I am losing this battle. I don’t want to live unhappy for the rest of my life hoping he will over come this addiction and him never over coming it. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about it or go to church. He was raised in church and believes in god. But one day we were talking about something and he made the comment about how he knows he’s going to hell why would he be ok with that! It brakes my heart. I can’t talk to him about this because he just gets defensive and it ends in a fight. I’m just so drained please give me some advice if u have any please…

By: blavla

blavla — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 19:52:29 +0000

thank you allison for this advice. I think it is beautiful, and purely loving (what a marriage should be). I am only 19 I have two kids and I just found that my husband has turned to other resources for his pleasure leaving me confused, angry, inadequate, and unpure (amongst other things). He is 100 percent willing to do whatever it takes to make this situation better. In which I am grateful for but I am finding myself still angry and hurt by his actions. I have been searching online to see if there are any answeres and your post stood out to me (a Godcidence). Thank you

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 14:44:38 +0000

I agree with what you are saying about keeping the urges under control. I have been married a little over two years with my husband and this is the second time I found him looking at pornography. The first time I was extremely sick and pregnant with our first child. ( very heartbroken) This time I was pregnant too…not sick and have been intimate with him. ( also very saddening) Women: know that it isn't your problem. Men resort to porn because they feel anxiety, anger, not feeling good enough ect. They go to it just like an alcoholic turns to a drink. My husband wasnt open with me about this the first time. Then this time around I hit him upside the head when I found out and said things I shouldn't have said. ( but I am pregnant and emotional) He is now going to Sexaholics Anonymousness classes. It is a christian help center and it helps them stay accountable to each other. This is a life long battle. But LOVE covers a multitude of sins. He is on a trial basis with me. I dont know what I will do. The trust is gone and I know that he is undermatured emotionally in some areas. I am giving this to God. It has been one of the hardest things for me to " let go" and let God. I have lost my patience on this subject. I was married once before to a hard core porn addict and left. Both times I had no clue. I am also worried if I leave my husband now that he will get worse with his addiction and we have children together… so its complicated.

By: jo-ann

jo-ann — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 02:21:59 +0000

kallison,
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was told the same thing…I use that because I am not getting what I need from you. That is completely UNTRUE. His addiction to porn actually has NOTHING to do with me. I wish these men would be real men and take ownership of their own issues and admit they have an addiction and do something about it. If the tables were turned they would not tolerate it if they felt like we feel. And the idiot that says "be a total slut for him"…that is a very self-centered approach… and who really wants to feel like a slut…not anyone I know!!

By: lisa

lisa — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 07:10:47 +0000

danny, thank you for explaining my situation… This is my life, my husband and me feeling what you just described>

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:26:20 +0000

your an idiot

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:23:31 +0000

do you still love him if yes than you will be miserable the rest of your life least of all you will feel like a failure i've been and am still in the spot you are in . you must think of your love for him and fight the fight of your life. talk together all night cry together and forgive together we must be like Christ he forgave his murderers completely. I KNOW HOW BAD IT HURTS. YOU FEEL GUTTED LIKE YOUR EMPTY HE RIPPED OUT YOUR HEART AND ALL AND ITS ON THE FLOOR AND YOU DONT THINK IT WILL EVER STOP BLEEDING . keep your chin up and talk to god all day right in front of him loudly. GOD BLESS AND ALWAYS REMEMBER GOD IS FIRST LAST ALWAYS …………………………………………………………………………………………………………….into infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: 30 yr marriage

30 yr marriage — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:06:45 +0000

shame on you read more of your bible . SEX WITH ANYONE ANYWHERE IS WRONG UNLESS THEY ARE YOUR SPOUSE ESPECIALLY IN YOUR HEAD IF IT ENTERS YOUR EYES IT ENTERS YOUR HEAD AND GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR HEART. I WILL SET BEFORE MY EYES NO VILE THING. THE DEEDS OF FAITHLESS MEN I HATE; THEY WILL NOT CLING TO ME MEN OF PERVERSE HEART SHALL BE FAR FROM ME; I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EVIL GOD LOVES THE WORLD THE WHOLE WORLD HE HATES SIN NOT THE SINNER.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:24:56 +0000

sophie hi god bless my problem is your problem trust god read the bible look for verses pertaining to lust ' marriage love just go to the index read each word pick the ones that god leads you to and look them up make notes . write him a long letter letting him know how you truly feel about him first start with how hurt you are tear up paper and throw it all over the room while your writing this lettter because you will get mad then take a deep breath and tell him how much you love him how he is your love your life your world but not your god and you will always love him but god wants needs and loves you in return more always and honestly and you want that to share with him and him alone for ever.then you become a warrior for your marriage and for god dont stoop to his level pray,pray ,pray in front of him,with him and for him and remember always god will allow no burden larger than you can carry and print this for him Psalm 101:3-5niv
I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of the faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me. menof perverse heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with evil. walk with forgiveness and grace you are a women of god let that be your first search in the index how god sees you.look it up thats all you need to know keep what you find and always repeat it to yourself.now from a mans view my husband Steve: (God's Love and Grace….Debbie)
Hi Sophie:
I was a porn addict
I have to keep close to God to be and stay clean.
He needs to get close to God to soften his heart and admit what he has done.
He has no idea of the pain he has caused.
He has committed adultery anyway you look at it.
And he has to confess this and accept responsiblility for it.
And beg your forgiveness (for years if it takes that). HE HURT YOU!
He must keep the look of pain on your face in his mind always.
His old self has to die, and a new one has to be born.
The new one will keep God first.
If he does this, the rest will take care of itself.
He cannot look at porn.
Not only porn, but anything that is in anyway sexual outside of marriage.
You are to be his only eye candy.
If, after reading your letter, he confesses, accepts responsibility for his actions, and begs your forgivenesss, AND IF:
You can find it in your heart to forgive him the way Christ forgave our sins TOTALLY:
Your MARRIAGE CAN BE THE BEST EVER!
I hope and pray that he will do this.
And if he does:
Give him the Best SEX you can whenever he wants it.
Talk, Communicate, Cuddlle and stay close to each others hearts, and above all stay close to God with or without each other.
God Bless You Both.
Steve