Comments on: Revisiting “Drastic Measures to Avoid Moral Failure”

By: 5 Don’t Do’s For Married People On Facebook | Dewitt Robinson

5 Don’t Do’s For Married People On Facebook | Dewitt Robinson — Tue, 25 May 2010 15:44:12 +0000

[...] I really could write more on this subject, but I’ll be brief. If you want to read some other writings on this topic click here. [...]

By: Nikita

Nikita — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:59:55 +0000

Hi Pastor Shaun,
Talk honestly with your parishoners about your boundaries for you and your family. Speak firmly & respectfully to your congregation and staff, but make your boundaries absolutely CLEAR. Some women will try to circumvent them anyway, but reiterate your rules/consequences if you have them and stand by them REGARDLESS. Discuss/Pray for strength to resist this temptation and others with your church family so that they too so they will KNOW how serious you are about this issue. Your family comes First & Foremost. Sometimes speaking resolutely, respectfully and yet firmly is as courteous as you can get when the issue is this serious.

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 21:09:55 +0000

Another good reason to have more women in ministry… I'd love to have a woman in my church who I can go to with theological and pastoral questions/issues. But I don't.

By: Christina

Christina — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:29:22 +0000

Hey P. Shaun! I'm doing really good. Still trying to make my way to the ATL! Haha I def. don't think you think I'm smelly and I certainly see your heart to maintain the most godly boundaries for your ministry and that women are not sinful objects.

I think the simplest thing a church can do is what you are doing…posting blogs like this, having talks, being clear and open with everyone about what you do and why. Having an open forum for people to freely talk about this stuff and be honest. That's awesome.

By: ihatechurch

ihatechurch — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:23:07 +0000

you lit it up on this one shuan :: good stance, good write and most importantly you have God on your side :: cheers

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:53:50 +0000

Hi Pastor Shaun! (continuation pg 2 of 2)

If the member is not comfortable with the third party being present, you can implement the above procedures. You have a witness in the area who can visually see both you and your member before, throughout, and after the meeting. (Make sure to place the chairs in a way that the person who you have checking in can see both your and your clients faces). If you would like to set even more of a safeguard, have your appointed "witness" detail what he/she observed and keep that statement with your meeting notes.

Like someone said in one of the postings, the precautions should be set in place for ALL your members. Don't assume that you're safe with a male member. You can stand to be accused of the same things a female member would accuse you of…
My suggestions may seem like a lot of work, but it's worth protecting yourself while ensuring that ALL of your members have an opportunity to seek your counsel equally.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:53:21 +0000

Hi Pastor Shaun! (This is pg 1 of 2..my comments cont'd in next post)
I actually have a set of procedures I have implemented at my job. I am a rather young female guidance counselor at a high school. The boys have tried hitting on me, which is hilarious, but a concern of mine. As a precaution, I have done the following:
1. Yes, leave the door open.
2. Informed someone of the meeting
3. Requested a person to be in the vicinity who can walk by every 10-15 min to look in, like a witness.
4. I take notes of the meeting detailing what was discussed and I keep it in a folder locked in a private area…sometimes I take notes during the meeting, if the student is comfortable. Most of the time, I take notes right after the meeting.
You can ask your member if she would be comfortable with having a third party present, he/she might be. If so, you can have the third party sign a confidentiality contract in front of the member to show that you value his/her privacy.

By: LaNeitria

LaNeitria — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:45:02 +0000

I have one thought……

Have you considered having armor bearers? I know that right now, you may think that because you have a small ministry that you don't need them, but bless God, your ministry will not be small for long. Some people may not agree with the concept of "armor bearers", but if you could get you some honorable Christian men of integrity in your midst, this may help. They will be able to pray for you, which you'll need when you're weary. I know of a church where the pastor's armor bearers exercise their discernment and are constantly on the look out for those of the opposite sex who wanted to "endear" themselves to the pastor. The armor bearers made sure that the pastor wasn't accessible to such foolishness.

By: Chris Meirose

Chris Meirose — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:43:30 +0000

The key is to be open and honest and live with integrity in all areas, not just this, but especially this. I also don't handle church money, and other things like that just to keep any of those temptations away. I don't struggle with them, but I don't want the opportunity for temptation as it only takes a split second lack of judgment and your ministry comes to a screeching halt. Too much at stake. Not that I think I am that important, but I want to be available to be used as God sees fit.

By: PaulB Thomas

PaulB Thomas — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:31:38 +0000

I agree and well said. God put man with woman and they were 'alone.' The issue is respect for each other and righteouness before God. When that is in place you dont have to get all out of shape and make rules that foster fear, suspicion and silent disrespect. That in itself makes 'religion' and religiousness wrong! let's learn to appreciate a woman not be intimidated by her beauty. but rather celebrate them and be comfortable with them that's not a sin either, that's normal as a Christian. That's healthy and and that's correct. Youre right its a heart issue, not a woman/sex man issue.

Paul.