Nothing will zap your marriage, ministry, or leadership greater than moral failure. Several times a week I receive devastating emails and phone calls from people suffering the grave fallout from some type of scandal. Moral failure leaves behind a certain residue that is just really hard for most folk to overcome and should be avoided like the plague.
Many people see me as an example of how to be a husband, parent, and leader with integrity and I am thankful for this, but it’s not easy and it takes a lot of effort on my part and help from other people. In fact, I take pretty drastic measures to avoid moral failure. I’d advise you to do the same thing.
I’m not bragging. Heck – some of you may even think that what I am about to say is weird, but my wife is the only woman I have ever had sex with. We’ve been together since I was 16 (I’m 29 now) and I have been able to avoid moral failure in my marriage by going the extra mile to do what many others might find ridiculous. Two of my favorite pastors (and bloggers) – Perry Noble & Craig Groeschel -recently shared the measures they take to avoid moral failure and I want to share mine as well.
Here are a four things that I do:
- My wife (and other people) has access to every cell phone, laptop, bank account, email account, voicemail, social network, text message, etc. that I have or use. No one has the time (or desire) to police these accounts word for word, but they are monitored.
- I go to great lengths to never be alone with another woman and have done this for the past 10+ years. It’s not that I think women are falling all over me (they aren’t), but I don’t even want the appearance or possibility of failure to be out there. Some people actually see this as some type of admission of weakness on my part. Maybe so, but I don’t care. The proof that it works is my marriage.
- I have other people in authority that I answer to and moral covenants that I have signed off on with consequences for moral failure. It appears that being a lone ranger is a major cause of moral failure for the majority of people.
- I surround myself with great examples of what it means to have integrity in life and marriage. Simply seeing and being around these folk keeps me encouraged. It’s much easier to live a certain lifestyle in a community of people doing the same thing.
Do you have any strategies or measures that you take? I’d love to hear them!