Launching out to start a new entrepreneurial venture is a major risk. Failure isn’t just a possibility – it’s likely. My vision for The Courageous Church here in Atlanta is so huge that I am pretty sure we are either going to hit a grand slam or completely strike out. Our risk of failure is significant because we plan to take Craig Groeschel’s advice and do what no one else is doing to reach who no one else is reaching.
In the midst of this church planting adventure, many planters run their marriage into the ground. Let me make it plain – DON’T DO THAT! I almost did that a few years ago when I came within inches of planting a church in downtown Atlanta, but decided that doing so without my wife on board would put the decision pretty high up on my list of dumb things I’ve done (right behind chasing down and choking the scoundrels that broke into our house last year).
I am hoping you can share your thoughts, but let me tell you a few things I have done to make my spouse (more) comfortable with the risks that we are taking.
- I was a pastor and a church planter in a multi-site church BEFORE we launched out on our own. If you can get some real leadership experience before you launch out into your risk enterprise, do it. It will help you and will show your spouse that you are serious.
- I have worked hard to develop partnerships with people and organizations that are a lot smarter and more experienced than I am. These folk provide coaching, advice, prayer, and more. I wouldn’t do it without them.
- I still had to sell the vision for The Courageous Church to my wife like I do everyone else. Don’t assume that your spouse knows and understands every idea you have just because you say you have a bright idea. It really took months of sales pitches for my wife to really understand where I was going and how we were going to get there.
- I have a financial plan. THIS IS HUGE. Your spouse needs to know that in the midst of following God that you all are not going to end up as residents in the local homeless shelter. My wife has agreed for us to cut back financially and to live a modest lifestyle so that we can plant this church, but she is doing so because she knows I have a plan.
What are some things you have done or would have to see to make you comfortable with risks like church planting?
{ 4 comments }
Pastor Shaun, you are a man of GOD and like you said earlier failure is NOT an option…. yes we all think about it, I think that is one of the biggest disappointments to the human race….to know that we can fail…but what happens when you fall…you get right back up and keep going…my mom recently shared some good advice with me…I’m quite sure that you have heard it, but I’ll share it with anyway…be careful what you put out into the universe…what you speak is what will become! You have many supporting you including you’re family, I think that we as women are born with a maternal instinct to want to protect and keep harm or disappointment from anyone that we love and care about…which is probably why your wife was a bit hesitant at first…keep doing what you do and keep GOD first…Can’t wait until 1/11/09!!!!!
Thanks a ton for your insightful comments.
We are looking forward to seeing you there!
-Shaun & Crew
this topic is so close to my heart, glad you discuss it. and that your wife lets you.
i worked in ministry as a church employee for years, while married to a non believer. submitting was a moment by moment discussion with God for me. and i learned that nothing can stop Gods plan.
with that understanding, i also sold vision, took care of his needs, sought out his advice, and always told him that i would never take on what he did not allow. i would say that this did slow me down greatly to make him comfortable, but it wouldnt be love if it was all about my pace.
it was never easy however. he never liked my work, initially. his desires were often not God honoring, and so these things were difficult. makes sense, what non believer would freely give his wife and her time to other things for other people.
i learned that for me it all came down to prayer. i prayed. i acted . i asked the hard things. i was scared of arguing, disappointing and fighting. at first i wasnt bold or brave, but i was more scared of letting my family grow apart from God ways and i grew strong yet remained submissive. i grew to love the word submit, its quite safe if you live it.
God ALWAYS changed me, and always brought my husband to the place where he said…yes. sounds fine…go ahead. i literally saw God move a heart, when he wanted to, which was often enough. I would go as far as to say that if you are walking with God your spouse cannot stop what God intends for you to do. you can submit and obey God fully. its tricky.
i have not yet seen my him be ” joyful” or excited, but he does usually see some positives, and will say that what i did was good, in the end. he does believe that i have special God angels in my life. 19 years later, he says that does not quite understand me. i long for him to know the freedom i know. so does God, who waits with more patience than i. i suppose that the “struggle” of the spouse can create the space in which God is shared in the way we handle it all.
While I’m not planting a church, I am planting a seed as an entrepreneur. So glad to see your post. It is so importnt for family to understand and support the process of a dream. Often the dreamer leaves them out in the cold without sharing the true vision. One day I realized I was walking alone mainly because I had not invited family to walk with me. The more I share with them, the more they understand the long hours, the infinite hours on the computer and the compromises we have to make. They are also more supportive during the set backs.
Since I can’t clone myself I make sure to watch for signs of frustration. When they want to help, I make sure to delegate and let them help. When they want some quality me time, its theres – so when I want some quality work time, its mines.