An Incredible Apology that Changed My Life

In January of 2007, I received an email from a name I did not recognize.  It was entitled, Long Overdue Apology. I thought that it must have been junk, but much to my surprise it was amongst the most moving things I have ever read.

I grew up in a very racist town in rural Kentucky. High School was total hell there for me and many other brothers that dealt with constant harassment and abuse with no support from the school whatsoever.  After two years of being called every nasty, foul thing you could imagine, being chased down by cars, having everything stolen from my locker several times, having a jar of tobacco spit thrown into my face, and forced into several brutal fights, I was eventually ganged up on by a mob of racists and was beaten so badly that I missed about 20 months of school recovering from two spinal surgeries and fractures to my ribs and face. To this day I have never fully recovered from the injuries and have had to have multiple surgeries since.  I still have significant physical pain that I have to will myself to overcome every single day stemming from that assault in 1995 and talk about my constant battle some here and here.

A white student, who, unbeknownst to me, had been troubled for twelve years by something he did to me, found me on MySpace and wrote this moving apology letter. You will find my response beneath his. I have left his name out. I hope it touches you in a unique way and displays for you the power of forgiveness.

Take care,

Shaun

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Title of Email: Long overdue apology

Dear Shaun,

You might not remember me or the event I am about to apologize for, but I remember, and I can’t let it wait any longer. I saw you on here and thought "no better time than now."

My name is **** ****. We went to Huntertown, Middle School and High School together yet never really hung out, just different groups of friends I guess. Even though over the years I had several VERY different groups of friends. Which leads me to my apology.

Do you remember the fight Thomas Stepp and Scott Myhre got into that sort of almost sparked a racial war somewhere around my Junior (your sophomore) year?

Well, while I was never really very close to Scott, several of my "close" friends at the time were, and out of some retarded ignorant sense of loyalty I said some things to you as you were walking into your neighborhood ( I will never forget) that have weighed heavy on my heart ever since.

The things I said were racist, they were ugly, and they came from a place in me that was never genuine and certainly has no home inside me now.

I was not raised that way, I am not that way now, and from the bottom of my heart Shaun, and regardless if you remember this or not, I am so very sorry those words came out of my mouth. Ever.

Minutes after I said those awful things to you I went to the home of a very close aunt who passed away this summer. She told me that for the first time in my life she was ashamed of me. And to be honest, I was more than a little ashamed of myself.

I said those things for the very worst reason in the world (not that there is a good reason).

I said those things to you in order to fit in. And that is the worst kind of ignorant cowardice that I can imagine.

I sincerely hope that you can accept my apology. In case you dont remember this happening, let me assure you, it did. And I have never forgotten. It has actually become one of the biggest regrets of my life. And trust me man, that is saying something.

I’m sorry Shaun, I’m not a bad person, I have worked hard to change the way racist people view minorities. I wont bore you with the details, but people know where I stand on matters such as these, and that brings me happiness now, but I couldn’t let the things I said to you stand any longer.

Thanks for you time,
**** ****

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(My Response to the Apology)

Dear ****,

Words cannot describe how much your very transparent, heartfelt apology touched me in a very real way. It took a great deal of courage for you to put yourself out there like that and I want you to know that I have forgiven you for anything and everything you ever did to me man. To move on from the things that happened to me in Versailles, I have long since had to say to God, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do," but your direct appeal to me helps me move on from the pain in a different fashion.

Out of all of the crazy things that happened to me when we were in school you are actually the only person to ever offer any type of apology and that means something to me. It means that God has placed in you a conscience and heart that wants to be whole and pure and not broken and wounded. It means that it is never too late to say you’re sorry. Very often we hear a voice inside of ourselves telling us to do things like what you did by apologizing to me, but rarely do we listen to that voice and act on it. You did and I believe that God will bless you because of your obedience.

My wife and I have since moved to Atlanta and have a very good life down here. However, we both often comment on just how absolutely crazy, hurtful and shallow of a time high school can be. You are not the first person to have ever acted out in the name of fitting in ****. At that age, we are very ignorant and lack the context to really know how much our words and deeds may impact those around us.

I want you to know that I hold no grudge against you and have no ill feelings toward you. The guilt and regret that you expressed in your message shows me that this apology was as important for you as it was for me and I hope that you now have the freedom and peace of mind to move on into all that God has for you. ****, you are a good person and the best of your life is ahead of you. Move forward with boldness and know that you have a new friend in me. I believe in you and hope the very best for your future.

Thank you again for your sincere apology,

Shaun King & Crew