I recently learned of a book, Leading While Limping: Turning Your Struggles Into Your Strengths, that is really helping me out. I am definitely a limping leader. Literally.
I talk about it a great deal on this blog, but for those of you that may not know, I live with regular pain. I was assaulted nearly twelve years ago and sustained serious spinal damage that has required three surgeries, a ton of therapy, and a great deal of emotional energy to overcome. My pain is constant, but the severity of it fluctuates from moderate to severe. After straining my back somehow on Saturday, it has been severe for the past several days and I am walking with a major limp and have considered getting a cane to help me move around better.
I hear a voice in my head telling me to give up on so many things. Other "wise" people have advised me to do the same. What that voice and those people don’t understand is that I hear that same voice tell me not to get out of bed in the morning, not to go to physical therapy because it is too painful, not to sit at the table to eat dinner because it’s too uncomfortable. If I listened to that voice, I would be a bed-bound hermit.
That voice and those people don’t understand that this may be the best my body ever feels and I have to pursue God’s plans and my passions today whether I am in pain or not. I wish that I wasn’t hurting so much, but I am learning that many of the greatest leaders (and pastors) throughout history had major physical and psychological limps and challenges that they had to live with on a daily basis.
My pain causes me to rely on God for the simple things. It causes me to be sensitive to hurting people. It causes me to rely on the Lord for my future. I may never get a chance to run a marathon, but getting out of bed and taking my son to school today sure feels like one.
I’m going to lead and limp and refuse to let my struggles dictate my dreams.
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Shaun, Last week I hurt my knee, the surrounding muscles and tendons, and was in excruciating pain (more so than usual), and found myself needing to use crutches (a whole lot of work). I have graduated to a cane after much consideration, because to me, crutches look temporary; a cane looks more permanent, and shoot, it just didn’t look cute!(“Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity.” Ec. 12:8.) In all honesty, it helps! My loving advice to you, Dear Son, is to try the cane; try whatever GOD sends your way (key word being “GOD”). We know that the Apostle Paul had a thorn in his side–commonly believed to be a physical affliction–but God did say His grace was sufficient. For Paul, God’s sufficient grace may have meant he would help him deal with it. For you, it might be the same, or His sufficient grace may be to provide healing for you, but be very sure by seeking His perfect will in this matter so that you need not suffer needlessly! You, like Paul, have sooooo much work to do for the KINGDOM! This Mom (in-law) loves you dearly and prays for you constantly in this and all matters. I am a real “Shaun-er”! God bless!