Nearly 13 years ago to the day I was assaulted. I detail the assault a little more here, but it was brutal and set my life on a very different path. I was 15 years old at the time and missed over a year of school recovering from the many injuries and spinal surgeries required to recover from the assault. 8 years ago I was forced to have yet another spinal surgery to help ease the extreme pain I was feeling from my previous injuries. 5 years ago I was in a brutal car accident in which I nearly died when my face went through the windshield in a head-on collision and I needed over 300 stitches on my face alone to put me back together again. I know about pain.
Living well with pain is a major part of who I am. If you know
me, you may or may not know my story of a life lived in pain, because I
try to squeeze everything I can out of life in spite of my physical
challenges. I have made a conscious decision that physical pain will not hold me hostage and
that I am still going to live well in spite of the pain in my body. Is
it exhausting? Yes. Are simple things (tying shoes, getting out of
bed, etc.) hard? Yes. Is it fun or fulfilling to lay around and do
nothing and still be in pain? Absolutely not! And that is why
I am still going to live my life well, because I am going to be in pain
whether I am in the bed or not. Some days I can hardly move and
resting may be the best thing I can do, but when I can get out, I have
pledged to myself that I will get out and live life to the fullest.
Now, it is 2008, and I am inches away from requiring a very, very serious multi-level spinal fusion surgery that would not only be tremendously painful, but would take me out for about a year and would change my quality of life significantly – and that’s if it goes well. It does not have the best success rate in the world and is rarely performed on someone my age (28). Having this surgery when your kids are fully grown and out of the house is one thing and having it when you are not married or do not have kids is another, but I am fully married and have three young kids – so I am in a very tough spot. I am in a ton of pain to the point where it is fairly debilitating and makes it difficult to perform regular daily tasks, but I refuse to accept that this surgery has to happen. I am doing regular physical therapy (thanks Thomas), and it is helping some, but my doctors have made it clear that it is highly doubtful that any procedure or medicine will completely alleviate my pain and that I need to adjust my mind to live with some degree of constant pain from day to day.
Before I resort to surgery, I have decided to undergo a very drastic, total makeover with my physical health and fitness. It is going to be unlike anything I have ever done before and will be something like what Lance Armstrong did when he was recovering from cancer -all out physical madness. I will be detailing what this means on my blog in the days and weeks to come and may even include photos of my progress so that you see what is possible. Pray for my success and know that no matter what you face, God is not through with you yet!
Here are 3 Things that Help Me Live Well With Pain:
1. Reminding myself regularly that life could be drastically worse. My legs are in terrible pain, but I have legs. My back hurts like hell, but at least I am not paralyzed and can feel the pain. How worse would I be, I remind myself, if I did not have health insurance, if I did not have a loving family and church, if I did not know God for myself?
2. Searching out deeper value and meaning for the pain. I choose to believe that this pain is not pointless. If it was pointless, I would indeed go into a deep, depressing funk and understand how easily this could happen to people. However, I regularly search for a purpose to my pain – intended or otherwise. Because I have pain, I am very compassionate to all people in all types of pain (physical, mental, emotional, etc.). Because I have pain, it has slowed me down in such a way that I appreciate the small things in life a great deal (the smell of good foods, a hug or kiss from my kids, a sweet text message to/from my wife). My pain causes me to call on God and to rely on Him to get me from day to day. I am confident that I would be out and about doing life like a Lone Ranger if it were not for this pain.
3. Thinking of my pain as a personal challenge that I can win. I am a competitive guy and I love a good challenge. If anything, this pain is pretty doggone challenging and I refuse to lose to it! Hear me, the pain may win a few rounds of this fight, heck it may even win the whole fight sometimes, but I am content to come back and win the rematch. I have learned that although my pain is real, it is tough, and it hurts, I get great satisfaction in overcoming it to live life well. Some people may get zero satisfaction out of getting dressed or getting their children ready for school, but for me, these are victories that take effort.
Ali lost his first fight with Frazier, but he won the next two. What are some other strategies that help you live life well – even though you are in pain?